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Date night part 6 – Date night rules

Posted on 29th June 2015 by Iain Littlejohn

In today’s post we cover off some date night rules! Why rules? Well, mainly to ensure that you get the best out of each and every date night…

Words: Jeremy Parker 08/10/2013

Hello and welcome to week 2 of the posts on date nights. Today we’ll be covering some date night rules! Why rules? Well, mainly to ensure that you get the best out of each and every date night, because they need to be a time for each other and absolutely nothing and no one else. So these rules are around you both agreeing that it’s okay to tell each other off (nicely mind) if you break the rules…

Let’s get started….


  1. Date night needs to be a regular, scheduled thing if your diaries allow it. Ideally once a week for a really good bit of relationship maintenance, but worst case once every two weeks.
  2. Discuss in advance when you can have date night with your partner. If one or both of your schedules are really hectic or you are away from home a lot, then you need to be super-organised. Plan your date nights like you would your business meetings, diarise them early. Sit down with your partner, diaries in hand, one or two months ahead of time if you have to, and plan the dates in amongst all the rest of your commitments. Once they are in there make sure that you stick with them and that heaven and earth are moved to ensure that they happen as planned.
  3. No friends or family round on date night, it’s just the two of you.
  4. No phone calls allowed (unless it’s a real emergency of course! But that’s obvious).
  5. No working allowed.
  6. No ‘fiddling about’ on your computers.
  7. No looking at your Blackberries, iPhones, etc., no surfing Facebook or Twitter or (add name of latest social media craze here) – switch the ruddy devices off and concentrate on each other for once.
  8. That goes for normal mobile phones too. Don’t let others disturb the precious time you have with your partner. Switching the phone off also has the added benefit of showing your partner that she is more important to you than any other work or personal phone calls or e-mails.
  9. Be pleasant and respectful towards your partner throughout date night, and have good table manners, remember all of the “stop it” and “start it” now’s if you can (we cover the things that I suggest that you “stop” in this post right here, and the “start it” now’s in the Get More, Get Better course). You are looking to romance your partner on date night, and being pleasant and respectful are definitely two ‘must do’ ground rules.
  10. There’s a to do list that’s whirring round and round in your partners head constantly – with all of the stuff that she’s got to do (if you need more help on this one we cover this in the Get More, Get Better course), well, you’ll need to get used to the fact that you’ve got to help clear her checklist for date night in order to get the best out of it. You could ask your partner the night before if there’s anything that you can help her with or if there’s anything on her list that you can remove for her and do yourself so that she can relax properly with you.
  11. Try your best not to discuss topics that will send sexual vibes plummeting earthwards at hyper speed – avoid topics such as decorating your home or who’s going to pickup the kids after ballet at the weekend like the plague! If you need some help with this then tomorrows post on conversation tips should assist you greatly…
  12. Look into your partners eyes regularly when you are sat across from her (remember not to do it in a nutter / crazed look in your eyes kind of way – instead look lovingly into her eyes when you are sat across from her at date night or simply when you are sat talking and snuggling with her.
  13. Go careful of drinking too much on date night. Drink moderately, otherwise it will either make you or your partner fall asleep too early or it could potentially annoy one or both of you, especially if one of you has gone to a whole load of effort to put your date night together. Having said that though a drink or two can help to relax you both, and relaxing is essential for a great date night.
  14. Do lots of kissing throughout date night, kissing will more than likely be really important to your partner and it’s one of those key ways to get your partner feelings nice and close to you. Start your kisses light and cheeky and build up slowly to the whole full on snogging thing.

Not really rules as such, but…

  • Don’t wait until the end of date night to start touching, for example try these…
    • Give her a light peck on the cheek when you settle down for date night.
    • Touch her hands and arms lots during your date (but do try and do so subtly).
    • You can lightly graze her legs with yours, then move slowly and subtly on to playing footsie under the table with her, this has to be done at the right time and not too early though.
  • If you’ve chosen foods that you can feed each other – then do so! Done right this can be very seductive, and yes, that includes if you are both in a restaurant, who really cares what the other punters think? You can always use your fork to feed your partner rather than your hands if you want to tone it down a bit.
  • The less your partner is expecting big romantic gestures in your date night preparations the more likely she is to enjoy them. So go for a little secrecy until the last minute!
  • When you are sat down with your partner having a drink, connecting, at dinner – clink your glasses together and propose a toast, say something intimate when you are clinking glasses together. Use it as an opportunity to get across a nice, loving connection (through the use of sweet, romantic words [yes I said sweet]) between you both. Use words that will make your partner feel good. Need some help with the sort of words that you’d use?
    • “I feel very lucky to be with you”
    • “I love you very much”
    • “You make me very happy”
    • “I never dreamed I’d ever meet anyone as lovely as you”
    • “I don’t want to be with anyone else, ever”
  • This next idea you’d have to do subtly if you wanted to try it – but it might at least help to get your thought patterns into the right place for date night; treat your partner as if you were on a first date with her, as if she were a new woman in your life. This might return those first date nerves and fears, but should get you in the right place trying to impress her. Both of you could be in on it to give it a try. You never know, it might actually turn out to be quite good fun!
  • Whilst you’re at the supermarket picking up for the food for your date night think about the next morning as well; you could serve her breakfast in bed with a themed twist; a French breakfast for example, with croissant, Pain Au Chocolat, Une Cafe Aux Lait and all served with a French kiss! This would also work if you were having date night that evening, ie start her day off with a little luxury and continue it when you get home at night as well.
  • Without fishing for compliments from your partner make sure that she knows that you’ve gone out of your way to romance and relax her on date night. Your partner should be able to clearly see this through your preparations, rather than you telling her point blank that “I’ve gone out of my way for you”! What your partner will see as the seductive bit is that you’ve put the effort in and that you’ve been thinking about her before you’ve even got home. And if you’ve put the effort in there, then she’ll put some effort in elsewhere…

That’s quite enough rules! and also the end of today’s post. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at some conversation tips to really help your date night flow beautifully.