Date night part 8 – Date night conversations 2
Posted on 29th June 2015 by Iain Littlejohn
In today’s post we continue our look at date night conversations, covering beginning, middle and ‘later’ conversation tips.
Words: Jeremy Parker 10/10/2013
In yesterday’s post we started to look at date night conversations, covering; some stuff to avoid, what you are trying to achieve with your date night conversations and some general tips. Today we’ll look at a series of conversation tips that are divided into the following three sections…
- Conversation tips for early on in your conversation.
- Tips for the middle of your date night conversation.
- And finally what I call ‘later’ conversation tips.
The purpose of each set of tips are explained under its relevant section, but suffice to say the later ones are aimed more at seducing your partner and getting her mind into the right place. The tips are there to point you in the right direction for the sorts of questions that you can ask and also to help you for if your conversation goes a little dead.
Now – there are quite a few tips here, there’s a lot to remember and obviously you can’t go into your conversations armed with a bit of paper detailing exactly what you want to ask your partner, so can I suggest that you take the time and put in the effort to prepare for your conversations. Yes that’s right, I said “prepare”. Why? Because the one time you don’t want to have to think about what to say to your partner is when you are suddenly stuck for something to say. All that I’m suggesting is that by memorising one question from each of the three sections then you can bring that question out if at any point you need to kick start your conversation again. When you’ve used one of them, you can just come back here, learn another and then it’s ready for a time when you might need it.
Early conversation suggestions – these are ideas to use early on in your conversation with your partner, ie at the beginning of your date night. These should at the very least start the conversational ball rolling…
- Hobbies are always a great conversation piece. You’ll know exactly what your partners hobbies are, so you should be able to think of some questions about her hobby. Where’s she at with it at the minute? What’s the next thing that she’s going to do with it? etc. Hobbies that your partner had as a child is also a good one.
- Start up a brand new hobby, and do it together, taking up gardening or growing your own vegetables, for example, might not sound that exciting on the face of it, but it will give you loads and loads of new things to talk about.
- Ask your partner for her advice on something, ask for her support with something, ask for her thoughts on a topic you’ve been mulling over. This will also have the added benefit of showing her that you value her. If you’re not comfortable with this idea then hey, you could always pretend you’re valuing her opinion – but do try and make it believable!
- Ask your partner “what shall we do for fun this weekend?”
- Try asking your partner what she is thinking and what she is feeling (she might have asked you the same question countless times, so turn the table!)
- Try complimenting and appreciating your partner, for example – you could tell her that she “looks nice in what she is wearing at the moment”, or “you looked nice when you walked in through the door from work”. Ask her more about the outfit she’s wearing / she wore to work that day. Where did she get it from?
- If she’s made you a lovely dinner then tell her it’s delicious and then ask questions about it to show you that you care beyond the ‘thank you’ and ‘it’s very nice’. For example – ask her what she put into it to make it so nice. Just show some genuine interest.
- If you both share a love of food then that very subject is a great conversation keeper upper – perhaps you’ve seen a new recipe that you’d like to try out for example, if so go talk about it with your partner, get the recipe out to show her.
- We talked earlier about you listening out for ‘clues’ in what your partner is saying when she answers you in order to keep the conversation going. With that in mind then here are a few tips to ask having been given these ‘clues’ by your partner. So, for example, when your partner is talking about something you could ask her the following sorts of questions about the subject…
- What about that do you love?
- What about that makes you happy?
- How do you feel about that?
- What do you think about that?
- The following are questions you can’t ask too often, but are also great conversation starters, as they will more than likely also give you lots of opportunities to ask other questions as a result of your partners answer…
- Ask your partner what the best present that you’ve given her is – and when she’s finished tell her what the best present she’s given you is.
- Ask your partner what have been some of the funniest moments you’ve had together.
- Ask your partner what she would you give you if money were no object, and vice versa, what would you give her if money were no object.
- Ask her who her favourite teacher was and why.
- Ask her what her favourite three or four films are, and then this might lead neatly into discussing a film that you’ve heard about recently that you’d both like to go and see.
- Ask your partner a question about success – that if she was “guaranteed success” in a venture what would she do? Then listen out for those vital clues to keep the conversation going in the answers that she gives you. There should be quite a few clues if your partner gives you good answers.
- Ask her how she likes to relax (and it’s worth noting that you could learn a lot from the answers that she gives to help you).
- Ask her what her perfect day would look like?
- Who would play her in a film about her life?
- Who would she most like to meet, living or dead?
- Ask your partner what she’d most like to be remembered for? Bit heavy that one though!
Middle conversation tips. These are ideas to use once you’ve moved on a bit in your conversation, ie you need to have at least warmed the conversation up a bit first before you can use these…
- Ask your partner what makes her happy?
- Ask her what music she likes that she’s heard recently?
- Talk about holidays that you’ve had together that have been really enjoyable. Talk about the best and worst holidays that your partner had as a child or just generally before she met you.
- Ask her “where shall we go on holiday this year / next year?”
- Get your partner talking about, thinking about and remembering all of the good stuff that she’s achieved in her life so far – this has the added benefit of boosting self-esteem.
- You could ask about what your partner would like to achieve by the time she’s 40, 50, 60, 70, etc.
- Talk about what you’ve done for each other that made each of you really happy.
- Say to her “Remember when… (and then add the name of the event that you will both remember and enjoy talking about)”.
- Tell each other what you appreciate most about each other.
- Tell each other what you admire most about each other.
- Laugh about the past, dream about the future and generally get inside her mind! Share your dreams that you both have for your future together. Find out what each others dreams and aspirations for your future together are. Go imagine a dream future together, where money was no object. Asking “what we’d do if we won the lottery?” for example, would get this sort of conversation off to a great start.
- Think of three words that describe the best aspects of your partner’s personality and share them with her.
- Ask your partner “what do I do that makes you feel loved?” You should be able to learn a lot from this – so listen well and make mental notes for yourself about what questions you can ask her next as she gives you her answer.
- Talk about some of the most romantic things you’ve done for each other.
- Has your love for each other ever made you do strange things? Talk about what, where, when and why.
- If you could give your partner anything in the world what are four things you would choose to give. And then hope that she asks you the same back in return!
The tips in this section are ideas to get you both talking about things that will start to invoke the intense desire that you both had for each other in the early days of your relationship – re-ignite these feelings and you are well on your way. Don’t forget though that you can’t just launch straight into these, you’ve got to have warmed the conversation up properly first…
- Talk about when you first met. When did you realise you were in love? How did you know? How did you tell each other that you were in love?
- Talk about what your first impressions of each other were. What drew you both to one another? Who asked who out on a date, and what made you or your partner say yes?
- What are the things that you find the most attractive about each other?
- Reminisce about your first date, what you wore, what you talked about, talk about what first attracted you to each other, was it the way your partner said a particular thing to you, or was it what she wore, or the words she used, or the way that she flicked her hair, for example.
- Talk about things that happened early on in your relationship – where you met, talk about how you met, what pub you went to first, your first kiss (and where you were for it), what did it feel like?
- What have been some of the most romantic things you’ve done for each other?
- Dust off the wedding album, grab out your wedding video, reminisce over the great day that you both had. This is some seriously powerful rekindling magic right there, sat waiting dustily on your bookshelf.
- And it doesn’t just have to be your wedding album, grab out any old photo album and you’ve got a whole stack of reminiscing and conversation starters sat right there.
- Ask your partner what makes her feel sexy?
- Ask her what music she loves that gets her in the mood.
- If it feels right you could also be going for some sexual double entendre’s at this point. Do test the water to see what happens though. If she’s moving towards you conversationally then you could keep it going, but if she’s moving away from you then do go careful. What you don’t want to do is to pressure your partner towards the bedroom too soon if she’s not in the right place.
- What are some of the most memorable sexual moments you’ve had together. Where you first had sex for example! What are some of the most adventurous places that you’ve had sex? Talk about a fantasy that you’ve both got that you’d like to try out, just be careful that you don’t apply too much pressure in then expecting your partner to carry it out.
- Tell your partner that she makes you feel good, tell her that her body really turns you on, or simply tell her that she turns you on. But do try to use these types of statements only when it’s appropriate to do so.
These sorts of conversation ideas are only the tip of the iceberg. There are loads and loads more possibilities, and all I wanted to do here was to get you started and to give you a few pointers in the right direction. Look out for a blog post to come soon with more conversation ideas.
In tomorrow’s post we’ll look at some going out date night ideas and tips. Thanks for reading..