Self-improvement to get more – Part 2 of 3

Posted on 29th June 2015 by Iain Littlejohn

In part 2 of our mini-series of posts we continue to look at your self-improvement. Why? Because looking great for your partner, both physically and mentally, is a great way to turn her on towards you.

Words: Jeremy Parker 29/10/2013

This week we’re looking at self-improvement – your self-improvement. Why? Because looking great for your partner, both physically and mentally (the mentally bit will make sense when you read the posts!) is a great way to turn her on towards you. Yesterday we started by covering off six personal grooming suggestions, and today we continue these…

Self-improvement tip No. 7 – Get some exercise

Aren’t exercising at all? Or just doing a little bit? Then get exercising or get going with some more. Why? Because it’s good for your head and your bod, and your partner will more than likely be impressed, that’s why.

Better still exercise with your partner…

• Exercise increases the libido and this is only a good thing for you for post exercise…
• Perhaps join a gym together and make a commitment to eat more healthily together at the same time. It’ll be tough to begin with, but having got into the regular swing of exercise and healthy eating it will doubtless do wonders for your sex life.
• You’ll both feel better about yourselves when you exercise, especially if one or both of you are concerned about your weight or body image. Your partner will also think better of you if she thinks that you are taking her concerns into consideration too.
• Struggling to find the time to exercise or haven’t got the cash to join a gym? Then go for a walk together on an evening after work, you can even do this with the kids if you have any. Why? Because; it’s a great way to connect you both, nature can be a really great mood enhancer, it gives you a chance to unwind, to escape from your home and to catch up with each other.
• If you live in a city then go escape to the countryside on a weekend for a walk, and smell the fresh air, unwind from the hustle and bustle of the city centre.
• If her weight is bothering you then suggesting that you both exercise together could be a great idea – because you are helping to support her lose weight by making the effort to exercise with her (assuming of course that she’s trying to lose weight).
• And don’t ever give in to ‘middle age spread’ – tell it “no”, go work hard to do something about it.

Self-improvement tip No. 8 – Go get Esquire

Esquire magazine to be precise, or GQ for that matter. Why? Because there are regularly style and grooming tips, that’s why, and quite honestly you might just need some… Getting yourself out of the worn jeans or dodgy tracksuit look will only help get your partner more switched on towards you – think “oooooooo”, rather than her saying “oh”.

Now I’ll admit that not all of the style suggestions in Esquire or GQ will be for you… you might take a look at that yellow jumper or those white shoes that they’re suggesting are the best thing for you to be stapling to your bod next season, and wonder if they’ve lost the plot, but there are also some good practical ideas in there for those of us that can’t pull that sort of madness off.

I’d also suggest starting slowly, don’t order a skip one day, ditch all of your old clothes into it, and then immediately go out and spend $4,000 on an entirely new wardrobe, because your partner will more than likely think that you’ve had a midlife crisis. Instead get yourself a few new pieces at a time and work them into what you’ve currently got, ditching the real awful stuff starting in priority order of awfulness.

This doesn’t have to cost you a fortune either. All you’ve got to do is to keep yourself looking good for your partner, even if it’s as simple as a clean t-shirt and a nice pair of jeans that fit you well and that don’t hang round your bum. Just be smart and stylish. And for goodness sake – do please be brave and make the effort to chuck out the pants with the big holes in!

Self-improvement tip No. 9 – Rubbish hairdresser? Go ditch them, find a goodun

If you’ve been stuck with the same old barber for the last 20 something years then is it perhaps time to funk up a bit? Perhaps try asking your current hairdresser for something a bit different, or go browse the magazine rack in your local newsagent and look for the magazines with the word “hair” in the title. Browse through one of these and you’ll more than likely spot a load of possible hairstyles that you could go for. Can’t stand that idea? Then go browse the web, visit www.thehairstyler.com or search using a term such as “celebrity hairstyles”, you’d be amazed what sites are out there, choose the male celebs section and reel back in wonder! There are styles to suit all ages. Personally I’d advise avoiding the 90’s Hugh Grant look though.

If your current barber just isn’t going to do the business then maybe it’s time to try a change… perhaps you need to go to one of those places that require you to book an appointment. It’ll cost you more money, but you’ll find it a lot easier to relax when discussing what you want from them style wise, ie they’ll have one of those consultation things with you before attacking your hair with scissors. If you’ve seen something you liked the look of in that hair magazine you plucked up the courage to buy, or there’s a style on the web you’ve seen – then take it along. It’ll be a good place to start the consultation. Remember to pay good attention to how they style your hair at the end of the session so that you can repeat it daily until your next visit.

If ridicule from your mates at your new style is a concern for you then you might like to ask the hairdresser to start the change in your hairstyle slowly, and to gradually make the change to the look you are ultimately going for over a series of appointments, rather than in one fell swoop.

Self-improvement tip No. 10 – Hairy nose

Sort your nasal and ear hair – it’s that simple. If you’ve got nasal hair growing way out beyond your nostrils, or if you are struggling to hear what’s going on in the world because your ear hair is fuzzing it all up, then do yourself a favour and buy yourself one of those hygienic hair trimmers from your local health and beauty stores – (a) they won’t break the bank, and more importantly (b) they will take years off you and (c) your partner will more than likely be impressed that you are taking care of your appearance.

Self-improvement tip No. 11 – Be Self-Assured

One way to get or stay seriously attractive to your partner is to be a self-assured man, who is: secure in his identity; and his place in the world; and who treats his partner in the right way. It can only help your partner to be turned on by you if you are confident and self-assured.

So how do you go about this then?

• You cannot be a confident partner / husband if you are not a confident man. If confidence isn’t something that comes naturally to you, then just fake it until you make it. Become more assertive at work and at home; straighten your posture up, get working on achieving that promotion at work, follow all of these grooming tips, make that tiny investment in more self-help literature and attend some seminars on building confidence (there are loads on the web if you really don’t want to attend anything like this – just try typing some relevant search terms into Google or You Tube).
• This is going to sound barking mad, but start telling yourself how great you are at least 10 times a day! If you accomplish a challenging task at work, or do some great DIY at home then give yourself some damned praise. Say it out loud, you don’t have to do it where people can hear you, just let yourself know that you’ve done good.
• Look in the mirror every day and find stuff about yourself that you like. It could be anything, even if you just tell yourself that you’ve got nice eyes! Then when you are feeling a little on the insecure side tell yourself the good stuff.
• Follow the Esquire tips from earlier – start by going through your cupboards and drawers and be brave…. get rid of anything that makes you feel fat or unattractive when you put it on. Keep only the stuff that makes you feel good about yourself when you wear it.
• Be confident with your body, if you aren’t then your partner will pick up on this and this could potentially be a turn off for her. Even if you aren’t confident then do the ‘fake it’ thing again – just go and pretend, eventually you will even believe yourself. The more you do the more you’ll stop having to fake. Love, like and approve of your own body and your partner will do the same back to you!
• Don’t be a low status male – ensure that your partner can be proud of you when you are both out and about… if you are at a function with your partner then you need to show her that you can hold your own and that you aren’t some sort of social leper. So go be social, but…
  • Don’t show off
  • Don’t moan about having to go in the first place
  • Quit putting people down when you get there (and also afterwards privately to your partner)
  • Watch your language and the laddiness when you are speaking with others
  • Don’t be a shy old hermit who prefers his dingy cave (think – corner of the party) to the humdrum of a party
  • And quit constantly tugging at your partners sleeve as soon as you get there whispering “can we go home yet?”
• Instead… show her that you can be the life and soul of the party. Impress her whilst at the party or function – and then in turn that may even come back to you (in a good way) when you do finally return home.
• However… make sure that you exude confidence – yes – but, don’t be an egotistical maniac with it, have some humility and be modest at all times, not just when you are with your partner.

Self-improvement tip No. 12 – Nee nah, nee nah

If you’ve got eyebrows that meet in the middle then get yourself a police escort to the salon super-quick to get that middle bit waxed out right NOW. If you think that those eyebrows need sorting then step way outside of your comfort zone and get yourself an appointment at your local beauty salon, they can start with some small changes and gradually work up to eyebrow nirvana. While you’re there perhaps try a facial as well. It’s not just for girls and your partner will doubtless be impressed with the fact that your feminine side does occasionally make an appearance too and that you are looking after yourself.

Phew, more bombardment on a personal front today, but you’ll be glad to know that we are done. Tomorrow we’ve got the final part of this mini-series, and we’ll be ending with eight tips looking at…

• How you can become more flirty with your partner.
• Eye contact as a way to build intimacy.
• More on style (think dress sense style).
• Fingernails!
• Becoming a bit of an old romantic.
• Ditching your old pants.
• And to end – how to ensure that your partner values you (bit deep sounding that one I know, but in reality its really very sensible and not that deep at all, just good common sense).

Until tomorrow…