Making your partner feel desirable is super important… In this mini-series of post Jeremy Parker summarises some simple ways in which you can help to make your partner feel sexy.
Words: Jeremy Parker 19/09/2013
Your partner is a naturally sexy creature. The problem however is that its fairly likely that she’ll easily become insecure. So making her feel desirable is super important. In today and tomorrows post we’ve summarised some (hopefully) simple ways in which you can make your partner feel as sexy and wonderful as she can be.
And when you help to make your partner feel sexy and desirable, it makes her want to be hot for you. She could well become more passionate, more sexual, and a whole lot more confident about herself. It’ll get her thinking about how much she wants you because of how much you desire her. And it will go a long way towards keeping the fire burning between you both and the sexual chemistry on full blast.
What we need to do first though is to start with a few ground rules…
Ground Rule No.1
Whilst you might… it’s fairly unlikely that your partner will feel sexy every single moment of every day! It is likely however that she’ll wake up thinking she looks dishevelled, tired, and stressed out. Possibly it’s because she’s not having a great time at work, she’s probably tired, she’s got loads on her mind and is far too distracted to focus on being intimate with you. So ground rule no.1 is thus… it.s a fundamental part of your job to keep her feeling attractive, sexy, positive and radiant. (don’t worry about the ‘how’ for the moment – just as long as you remember that it’s an important part of your job, not just hers).
Ground Rule No. 2
Making her feel attractive, sexy and desired isn’t as simple as saying, “Cor, you look lovely!” and then leaping on her (sorry!). Yep, telling her how lovely she looks is super important, but I’m sorry to say that there’s a lot more to it than that – but you’ll be glad to hear that it isn’t too tricky! And here it is – you actually have to make her feel sexy and attractive deep down and you have to make her truly believe it in order for this stuff to work. Again we’ll get to the ‘how’ in a bit – but if you remember nothing else from this other than the fact that i) she’s got to believe it, and ii) you need to do your bit to make her genuinely feel sexy and attractive – then that’s all that’s important for the moment.
Ground Rule No. 3
…is this – never, ever take what you’ve got for granted. Simple to say, yes, but please don’t immediately switch off and move onto the next ground rule – because if you’ve made the mistake of getting far too comfortable in a relationship before then you are potentially taking for granted what you have and therefore you are probably not reminding your partner of her allure. What happens from there? Well possibly things aren’t quite as hot as they used to be and you’re going to get super frustrated trying to figure out where the spark went. Then you’ll be asking her quite blatantly for sex and then whinging when you aren’t getting any! So what’s the ground rule to remember again? Simply – don’t take her for granted.
Ground Rule No. 4
Please do try to remember this (and this is going to seem horribly obvious, yes….) but you cannot logically just convince your partner to be turned on. She (and women in general) just don’t work like that! Instead you need to tap into her emotions and get her excited for you. You should be aiming to get her craving your touch and longing for the closeness that intimacy with you brings. Okay, that’s nice, but what’s the ground rule? i) you cannot logically convince your partner to be turned on and ii) aim to get her craving closeness and intimacy with you. Again don’t worry about the how for the moment we’ll get to that in good time.
In tomorrow’s post we’ll look at a whole load of practical tips on how you can make your partner feel sexy and attractive. We’ll put some meat on the bones of the above. Before we go though here’s one to think about and put into practice…
Today – text or e-mail or iMessage or Blackberry Messenger (or whatever!) her something meaningful, something sweet or just something nice which will brighten her day. What to send? Why simply tell her you love her. Or tell her that you’re thinking of her (especially good if she’s got something important going on that day). You could try telling her that you miss her when she’s not with you. Or you could thank her for a lovely dinner last night, or for looking after the kids whilst you went to the gym – oh yes, and with this one you are looking to show genuine appreciation please.
That’s it really, not too tricky now was it. Technology is totally brilliant for keeping in touch when you aren’t with your partner, so go use it to your maximum advantage.
Now we didn’t say that it was instantly going to work to get your partner leaping on you! It’s not magic! But it will help lay the groundwork for all the ideas in tomorrow’s post.